FUNNY!

I saw this and couldn't stop laughing. What was the guy/dad thinking?!

50 Shades Of Surpise

I hated people who walked around with their face buried in the phones as they pinged/browsed or whatever it is they did while I shook my head at them feeling sorry for humanity. Guess what? I am one of them now :( HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? When I'm not on my laptop I'm on my phone Whatsapping, twittering, Facebooking, reading, yes, reading! I'm the worst form of hypocrite.

Notwithstanding the appalling person I have become I decided not to let it get me down and I said to myself one day, 'no more' (It sounded cooler when I was thinking it). So I looked around and found a book I have been ignoring for a while and decided to have a crack at it.

I finally got down to reading the book 50 Shades Of Grey and boy was I surprised! There was so much hype about the book when it came out but I refused to sucked in to the mass consumerism our culture has become (not that its a bad thing, I'm just being stubborn) and raised my nose in contempt concerning myself with *coughs* shopping. Many hyped materials don't always turn out to be that great, except for Lord Of The Rings, Harry Potter and fried chicken, which is why I wasn't so pumped about the book in the first place. Hmmm, I enjoyed the book o.

Some of the things I learnt from the book was:

Staying a virgin counts as you might end up with a Christian Grey to explore your carnality.
Sex is amazing (duh!)
BDSM never looked more appealing
Girls can overthink everything
I didn't know the words 'oh my' could be overused
I'll kill any guy who makes me taste my period!
I was constantly reminded of church. Wish they used a different name :(
No means yes
Yes means yes
Pain is pleasure
The toughest guys can be brought down by the simplest things
Rich people have it all
Money can buy anything
Money can't buy everything
If a guy is good in bed, 50 percent of the time his girl will stick with him no matter what.
Love is subjective
The days of love first and sex second is over and in this case overrated.
Sometimes you have to leap before you look.

I think that's it...yeah I'm definitely picking up the remaining 2 books. It's a trilogy I think. Yay!

The Sting - Chapter 8

Chapter 8

His heart skipped a couple of beats when he saw the caller ID. He was in the midst of a little crowd and trying to answer the call right there did not seem like a good idea so he walked on a bit to get himself isolated. By the time he got there, his phone had stopped ringing and Sunday wished he had picked it and told Wale to hold on or call back.

He was about getting out of the bush and into the road when his phone rang again. This time he answered it immediately.

“Hello Bear, what’s good. Is anything wrong?”

There was a pause and Sunday looked at his phone wondering if the line was dead.

“Does anything have to be wrong before I call you bro?” was the reply from Wale.

“Well, I was just worried that’s all, nothing else. So what’s good?”

“Not much, I want to go see my girlfriend Wunmi. She is still shaken up about last night, you were shaken up too so I wanted to check up on you and if you like, we could go together”.

“I am fine thank you. I was just heading home too.

“Okay man, remain safe and if anything happens, give me a call, you know we watch out for one another”.

Sunday hung up and one thought lingered, that he had Bear watching his back. He made his way out of the bush and headed straight to where the shuttle buses were parked. He was glad that at least this time he did not have to wait long before getting a bus as the buses were all parked and waiting for passengers to enter.

He inquired about the routes as there is no specific parking space for a designation route and just when he was about entering the appropriate bus, he heard someone call his name, not just his name.

“Sting, how are you today?”

He froze from the inside as he felt his blood go cold. No one other than Bear calls him Sting, and the thought that another person will call him that in public was scary. He sat down in the bus and he tried to look at the person calling him and he did not see any face he recognized.

Someone in a red shirt came and sat down beside him and offered him a handshake while smiling but Sunday could not take the handshake and all he did was look at the person. He did not recognize him even though the person seemed to know him enough. His face started going white as he tried to say something but his throat was dry and no words came from his mouth.

Three other people entered the bus and sat behind him while the remaining seats were getting filled, all of them chatting amongst themselves but still Sunday could not relax. Different thoughts ran through his mind.

“What if the other people in the bus were in on this? What if they were there to kidnap him and torture him or worse? What if they were police or security operatives?”

The events of the previous night had left a lot of people dead and it is not inconceivable that a special security squad had been called in to investigate what happened.

He thought of calling Bear but his phone was in his pocket and getting to it might be hard.

The guy still had his hands stretched waiting for his hand to be shaken and he was looking at Sunday with suspicion in his eyes.

One of the three who sat at the back seat leaned forward.

“What’s wrong mate, don’t you remember us anymore?”

Sunday looked back the guy who spoke looked sort of familiar, he tried to place his face but it was difficult until the guy raised his right hand up to reveal a green wristband and suddenly, Sunday placed his face. He was one of those who dragged the body of the person he shot at his initiation.

“Now can I get my handshake? You are beginning to make me look bad”.

Relief came his way as he took their hands one after another and he apologized.

“I did not recognize you and I am just getting used to being called that, please I am sorry”.

“No problem” one of those behind said.

“So you stay off campus?”

Sunday answered nervously, “Yes I do, it is quieter there and less friends to disturb me in case I want to read”. They all agreed that it was a great reason.

The remaining spaces in the bus started to fill up and before long they were all caught up in a conversation that ranged from the road conditions to house rent in school to the weather. They all avoided speaking about the fraternity and Sunday picked that up and just went with it. All four of them got off the bus but not before they had exchanged number and real names. They got off and Sunday was glad. He was beginning to know more members and they did not seem like bad people, just ordinary people who liked ordinary things.

**************************

Bear did not like the sound of Sting’s voice that morning one bit. The boy had displayed bravery he had not seen in a long time the night before but his vice just sounded off. After the call to him that morning, he thought of driving to his house to go pick him up but he had more important things to do.

The night before had created a big mess that needed to be dealt with. Immediately, he dropped Sting, he had gone to see the top guys of the Skulls and brief them on the event. They had also met the Royals in a bid to see if the fighting was to continue or if they were willing to drop the fighting, after all they did not have an outstanding fight so the attack on them at the party was not called for.

He could not attend the meeting with Royals because he had to head a delegation to see the police commissioner that night so as to help the whole issues of keeping the policemen quiet and stop them from harassing any of their members. He also delegated some of the guys to tell every member to be ready for possible attacks from the Royals. It is always good to be prepared for any eventuality he thought to himself.

The meet with the Commissioner went well; he used to be a member of the Skulls while he was a student but in another university so what they asked for was easy. The Commissioner even asked if they wanted the police to arrest the Royals for the death of the slain individuals but Bear was not for that. The order from the top was for the issue to die down and that was what he did.

He got home in the early hours of the day and sank into his bed; he reached beneath it and put his gun there. He always slept with a gun under his bed ever since he became an active member and since the incident was far from over, he wanted to take no chances. He said a little prayer for the dead souls (Catholic by birth) and slept off almost immediately. He had woken up late in the day and made that call to Sting on visiting Wunmi.  He promised to come see Wunmi that day after classes and thought of killing 2 birds with one stone by checking on Sting.

The drive to Wunmi’s house was not one he liked, her house was on campus but the road leading there was bad and he hated having to take his car there. She on the other hand always wanted him to bring his car there so she could show off to her friends that her boyfriend drove a fancy car. Taking the car there also had its advantages though; he could always keep a gun in the car instead of carrying it around in his bag.

He pulled in front of her house and said hello to a couple of people idling in front. The hostel was dominated by Skull members and his greetings took a while. He walked to her door and knocked.

“Who is there?”, a voice he did not recognize replied from inside the house.

“It is Wale” He does not use Bear when he was alone with her as he liked keeping the two lives he lived separate.

He heard the door unlock from inside and Wunmi was standing at the door.

“Why did you come this late? I have been so worried about you. I thought something else happened” she muttered as she sank into him.

He saw Tope in the room too and she whispered a “Hi”.

He nodded in response and she looked behind him as though she was expecting someone else. Wale also looked back trying to see who she was looking at.

 “Well, where is he?”

Still confused Wale asked, “Where is who?”

“Well, my boyfriend and knight in shinny amour of course. Where is Sting?”

(Mynd is a final year student of Mechanical Engineering at one of Nigeria's universities. When he's not busy being a nerd he spends his time writing, playing basketball, listening to music and laughing! You can reach him on mynd44@gmail.com)

This Life

Life is worth living and fighting for. Most times. 

This year started with such a rush but now it looks slow, or is it moving so fast that it seems like its moving slow? I guess that's possible. 

Its not how long you've lived but how well. One of my greatest fears is dying without accomplishing my dreams and not doing what I enjoy. People say, 'Life is short, do what you want cos you might get hit by a bus tomorrow'. How many people will actually get hit by the bus after 'living the life'? They forget about what happens after. Forget that there might be consequences for their actions which they might be held accountable for.

The whole thing is about balance I think. Enjoy your life and stay true to yourself but do it with love and respect. Respect for yourself and others. Easier said than done? Well, I'm also figuring it out as I go.

My Oscar Moment

Watching highlights from the Oscars which took place last night, it pleased me to see my favourite movies and actors receiving awards. Anne Hathaway's performance in Les Miserables, Argo winning Best Film was deserving. First Lady, Michelle Obama looked so beautiful by the way.

The award that made me smile though was hearing the name of Daniel Day-Lewis called out for Best Actor for his role as President Abraham Lincoln, in the movie Lincoln! This is the 3rd time he's winning an award in this category and nominated thrice for the same category. Daniel has amazed me ever since I watched him in a film when I was much younger (can't recall the title) then I watched him in Gangs of New York and I fell in love. This is an actor who knows how to pick a role and its so obvious how hard he works to be in character. I once read in an article that he carries out a lot of personal research to play his roles, staying in character throughout his shoot, even at the risk of his health. I hope he doesn't end up like Keith Ledger, but why I think that will never happen is because he takes time off, away from the industry to be with his wife and 3 kids. I think that is his balance and I admire him for that.

Daniel Day-Lewis acts once in 5 years but know that that film will be epic. I'll be silly to miss out on any of his films, I just hope he gives me a dozen more before he calls it quits. I can't imagine Hollywood without actors like Daniel Day-Lewis. He's a living legend!

Another actor that I know to work hard to stay in character is Viggo Mortensen (Aragorn from LODR). He prefers the theatre to Mainstream movies and the only reason he played Aragorn was because his son begged him to, hahaha!

Do you see a pattern here? Its the best of these actors that stay away from the limelight and spend more time honing their skills. I like being reminded of these people because it helps me stay grounded and aware that personal fulfillment is much better than cheap publicity. The reward speak for itself!

The Sting - Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Sunday had just two classes that day and they ran concurrently. One was a 3 unit course while the other one was a 2 unit course which meant he had to sit down in class for 5 hours straight, the first course was Thermodynamics while the second was Fluid mechanics. Both were real serious courses which demanded concentration from the lecturers and the students. 

He was particularly happy about this because it helped him keep him mind busy  but even then he had flash backs of the Royals gunned down without mercy and how one was shot when they discovered that he was still alive. The thoughts that he was close to losing his life also got into his head and occasionally he had to bring himself back to class forcefully.

The hours went by slowly and he heaved a sigh of relief as he carried his back pack and made his way to the door at the end of class.

”Guy, how are you?” Tayo called out.

Sunday stopped and waited for Tayo to catch up before answering him.

“I am fine. How are you doing bro?”

They exchanged handshakes and Tayo looked at him funny.

“Dude, are you sure you are fine? I was watching you throughout class and you looked distant/ like you were caught up in a world far away from here mate. What’s up?”

“Seriously, I am fine. I was just studying last night and did not get enough sleep that’s all”

Tayo shrugged, “If you say so, I have no problem with it bro”.

Sunday nodded his head and answered “I say so”.

They walked side by side until they were walking on they own away from listening range of everyone else when Tayo said something that shook Sunday to the bones.

“Did you hear about the clash night? I heard it was one between the Royals and the Skulls”.

Sunday tried to sound and look as uninterested and surprised as possible.

“Really? I noticed that the security at the gate today was sort of tight and we were all searched but I did not know they had a clash. Where did it happen? Was it on campus?

“No not on campus, I heard that it was at a party in town”

”But yesterday was a Wednesday na, who throws a party on a Wednesday? Some people are just insane” was the reply Sunday could give.

“Well, Wednesday or not, they said a fight broke out because of a girl and a lot of people were killed”

Now Sunday was interested.

“They fought over a girl? That’s something else. Something very silly”

Now it was obvious that Tayo was excited either because he felt he was the one who knows the story itself, Sunday could not tell.

““The girl was said to have come to the party with a Skull member but a member of the Royals wanted to dance with her and trouble started”.

The both got under a tree and they took a seat on one of the benches available for students to sit down and take shade from the sun.

“It happened that both fraternities had already had beef before and so when they saw a fight had broken out, the members joined in and it turned into a free for all. I heard the guns and other weapons were used and about 20 people died”.

Sunday still tried to sound as uninterested as possible.

“20 people died? Where was the police?”

“It happened and ended so fast, the police did not have enough time to react”.

Sunday managed a wow.

Although the story was flawed, it had some elements of truth in it as the death toll might be near that number and the thought that 20 people died scared him more but he calmed down and just tried to relax. But another thought passed through his mind, even though the story was not totally, true, somebody might have seen something and might talk too and that will be the end of him.

Well he had to know who fed Tayo with the news so he’d know what to do so he asked.

“And why is it that you know so much about this incident? You talk as though you were there when it all went down. Or were you?”

Tayo looked back with a serious face.

 “I wish I was but I was not, Sandra’s neighbor was at the party and she told us everything. She was invited by a friend of hers and they both got home separately. She got back around 1:30 this morning and was screaming like she was being chased like the devil.

A thought passed through Sunday’s mind, “Yeah the devil. He got that one right”.

Then Sunday was drawn to something Tayo said and he ignored.

“Wait Tayo, you said the girl who told you all this came back around 1:30 am and she is a neighbour of Sandra right?”

Tayo answered “Yes”

“Well what were you doing in Sandra’s house at 1:30 dude?"

A grin appeared on his face as they both knew the point they were trying to make and suddenly, they forgot the whole gunfight issue and started laughing.

Sunday broke the laughter, “So did you sleep with her last night or the screaming girl stopped you?”

The answer to the question was simple enough but Tayo did not want to let it slide out easily.

”A gentleman does not kiss and tell”.

“Dude, since when did you become a gentleman? Guy, give me the gist jorh”

Tayo settled down well and started his tale.

“When you left yesterday, we talked for a while and then that witch Anita said she was bored and wanted to go home so we left. Then at their house, they had some assignments which they found difficult so I offered to help out with but I had to go home because wanted to sort out my course form.

“I went back around 8pm and I met Sandra and another friend there and I helped them solve the questions. When we finished, she saw them off and we spoke for a bit before she asked if I was hungry. actually, I was not hungry but I thought what the heck, I might as well eat and then leave later so I waited for her to cook and by the time she was done cooking, the time was almost past 11 so I suggested I spend the night with her and the rest my friend is history”.

Sunday had sat down and listened to this jealously not because he wanted Sandra but because he was jealous of what she and Tayo shared. He wished he had someone to share the same thing with but the only girl he had developed enough courage to talk to did not like him one bit, treated him like he did not exist and insulted him at the slightest chance. That bothered him but he shrugged shook Tayo’s hand.

“I am hungry, will you get me something to eat or do I start going home?”

“Let’s go get a bite. I am supposed to meet my baby very soon at her place too, you want to come along?

As much as he enjoyed the company of Tayo and Sandra, he was sure Anita will be there and he was not in the mood to be insulted by anyone and there was also the issue of the girl who was at the party and his face might be recognized.

“I think I will simply go home and sleep a bit and then try to solve that Fluid Mechanics assignment”.

At the mention of that Tayo’s face brightened. “Can you please help me copy it out and write my name on it?”

“No I can’t help you do it as my writing will show on both. Tomorrow is lecture free and I will be it to school so you can copy it yourself and we can submit it together. That will be the only thing I will be doing in school tomorrow in fact”.

“That is also a great idea but please come a bit early since we are submitting by 10am, I don’t want to start writing fast because time is running fast!”

Sunday gave him a warm smile.

”When have you ever came to school before me? I will be around by 8am and that should be enough time to copy the whole thing and still submit it in time”.

Suddenly, Tayo had a crazy idea.

“Why not spend the night at my place and I can copy as you solve it. That way, it will be easy on both of us you would not have to waste money to come to school tomorrow”

It sounded like a great idea but with the tension in school he would rather spend the night in his room where he know if anything happens, he has a gun hidden in the television he can use.

“The textbooks I want to use are at home dude, don’t worry, I will come early”.

He walked to the car park and was about boarding a bus when his phone rang, he checked who was calling and it was no other than Wale AKA Bear.

(Mynd is a final year student of Mechanical Engineering at one of Nigeria's universities. When he's not busy being a nerd he spends his time writing, playing basketball, listening to music and laughing! You can reach him on mynd44@gmail.com)

I'm back :)

Its been a while diary! Don't ask what I've been up to but 2013 has not been dull at all!

Valentines day was eventful, it promised to be a good day with good company, good food and a good time but somehow the universe had to throw its spangle in the wheel and put a pause on things. Well, I'm alive and I have my health (touch wood) so I am thankful.

The train called Life is still tooting on at a fast speed taking down anything in its path and I can't help but wonder where I'll be at the end of the year. Its only the second month in the year and already I have heard of the death of 3 Nigerian artists, the fourth one died today, all due to some illness. A lot of new businesses have opened, friends getting opportunities they have been struggling for the last year, Kim Kardashian was in Lagos couple of days ago (yawn), work is about to get crazier and 2013 is having non of my marriage phobia nonsense. I feel trapped. What is happening this year? Things are moving at an alarming rate and I don't know when its going to stop or if I want it to.

We entered Lent without my knowing, that's how bad it is. Last year I had attended mass and fasted, doing my Christian duty. I feel guilty I haven't been better this year but I will make the most out of what is left. I'll try at least. It's a good thing God is merciful, haha.

In addition to my raving rant up there, why does temptation come when you are in a relationship? Its easy to say its just this one time but from what I know, Karma is a bitch. *Doing the sign of the cross* get behind me, Satan! :D

My question for the day. Why are many people clueless about what they want in a relationship?